Sunday, June 14, 2009

The stylish heifers

- Hey there 99!
- Hola Negrita! How’s the herd doing?
- Oh well... the heifers are complaining about skirts..., said the cow
- What?- See, yesterday when you came late at night they saw you in your Jackie dress and this morning they were all excited because they say they don’t want to walk around naked... they’re so young, she sighed
- Negrita, I don´t want to lecture them on harmonious relationship with nature or the surroundings but they are Aberdeen Angus cows for Christ sake!
- I know, you know, but they don´t and they do not like being told how to think. Their own decisions respond to the needs of the moment because they are young. You´re aware that we cows like routines and a standardized way of doing things and now they all want black dresses... just like yours, she explained.
- Men... I don´t have that much money... maybe for some black mini-skirts, will that make the heifers happy?

- I think so. They’re also proud of their big bellies and long legs. That’ll do. Do you think the gaucho will help them dress up before dawn every day?, she said while blinking.

- I hope you´re only making a theoretical speculation. You know he has difficulties in dealing with cows' emotions. Remember how hard I had worked with him against his instinct for animal abuse? And how tough it was for him to understand that under no circumstance I would allow the herd to be mistreated?
- Yeah, I remember when you told him about rapport, empathy, compassion and he laughed at you... , burped Negrita
- ... But he did understand when I compared your feelings with his own emotional reality and how often gauchos are ignored or looked down or abused... Remember I told him about our hero Temple Grandin and the animal welfare movement? I think he got that.
- No 99, he did not. He got it when you threatened to fire him if you ever knew that only one of us was beaten. Sorry, but asking him to help the heifers to dress up won’t work... besides the girls don’t trust him much...

- So? How can we make everybody happy? I´m confused Negrita.

- I have an idea! Why don´t you buy yourself a nice black catsuit and walk around the pastures as if that were the newest fashion look? That way I assure you the heifers will feel that their natural black leather outfit looks even better than yours.

- It´s a great idea Negrita!

- Now, what are we going to do with the perdices, 99? They want to have their hair long and curly like you.

- That´s it Negrita! I´n not going to walk around the pastures in a black catsuit with feathers on my head. No way! Is everybody spoiled in this estancia or what?! Get out of here with your ideas!, I shouted.
99 you seem to be specially irritable this morning. Too quick to take offense this morning. I´m out of here.

- ...gulp... sorry my friend, it happens to be my birthday.
But she couln´t hear me, she was already gone.